Friday, 6 March 2009

Quantitative Easing

Well, I haven’t gone for too long or have I?

Remember that I made a New Year resolution to post regularly on my blog or didn’t I? The resolution is not that difficult to keep. (Gulp!)

Anyway, I’m sure you’ll be wondering what the title of my post is all about. By the way, I’m listening to Boyz II Men in the background, 'I’m doing just fine'. Yeah, I’m doing just fine getting along very well without you in my life. She knows who she is.

Moving on, you know what they say:

Rich people don’t steal; they embezzle

Rich people don’t sleep around; they have affairs

Rich people don’t fart; they break wind.

And the list continues like that.

The way it applies to rich people is exactly the way it is with rich countries.

When Uganda did it during the Idi-Amin era and Zimbabwe very recently it was called, ‘printing money’ but now that the United Kingdom has joined the ranks of Uganda and Zimbabwe in printing money it is re-christened ‘quantitative easing’.

Yes O! The Bank of England has just announced plans to print about £75billion. Yup! Your eyes are not deceiving you. Her Majesty’s government will be printing seventy-five billion Pounds very soon, not Biafran Pounds by the way but Pounds Sterling (Mama Charlie). I won’t even try converting that to Zimbabwean Dollars, I’ll still be adding the zeroes this time next year.

That is how bad the credit crunch has hit the UK. The Government is so broke they have resorted to printing money themselves.

I was very happy when I first heard O! I divided £75billion by the number of people in the UK and reckoned that at least each person should be given a thousand Pounds. I was even thinking of collecting my brother’s share, he’s relocated to Nigeria. I was very disappointed when I went to see my bank manager who told me that the money would not be shared amongst the residents. He was telling me some shit like buying up Government bonds. Government bond ko Government James ni. Nonsense and ingredients.

The stupid manager should have told me that earlier. I have already promised my Homies in Naija that I will be sending some money to them. I have also been thinking of buying a new plasma TV. Now I would have to make do with the old school TV I have been watching.

Una see the kain wahala dis credit crunch or global recession don cause now abi wetin dem dey call am for Naija?

Yipee! I just wrote a whole post without mentioning Bumight’s name. I’m keeping my New Year resolution.

Ps: Solomonsydelle, I have updated O.