Friday, 6 March 2009

Quantitative Easing

Well, I haven’t gone for too long or have I?

Remember that I made a New Year resolution to post regularly on my blog or didn’t I? The resolution is not that difficult to keep. (Gulp!)

Anyway, I’m sure you’ll be wondering what the title of my post is all about. By the way, I’m listening to Boyz II Men in the background, 'I’m doing just fine'. Yeah, I’m doing just fine getting along very well without you in my life. She knows who she is.

Moving on, you know what they say:

Rich people don’t steal; they embezzle

Rich people don’t sleep around; they have affairs

Rich people don’t fart; they break wind.

And the list continues like that.

The way it applies to rich people is exactly the way it is with rich countries.

When Uganda did it during the Idi-Amin era and Zimbabwe very recently it was called, ‘printing money’ but now that the United Kingdom has joined the ranks of Uganda and Zimbabwe in printing money it is re-christened ‘quantitative easing’.

Yes O! The Bank of England has just announced plans to print about £75billion. Yup! Your eyes are not deceiving you. Her Majesty’s government will be printing seventy-five billion Pounds very soon, not Biafran Pounds by the way but Pounds Sterling (Mama Charlie). I won’t even try converting that to Zimbabwean Dollars, I’ll still be adding the zeroes this time next year.

That is how bad the credit crunch has hit the UK. The Government is so broke they have resorted to printing money themselves.

I was very happy when I first heard O! I divided £75billion by the number of people in the UK and reckoned that at least each person should be given a thousand Pounds. I was even thinking of collecting my brother’s share, he’s relocated to Nigeria. I was very disappointed when I went to see my bank manager who told me that the money would not be shared amongst the residents. He was telling me some shit like buying up Government bonds. Government bond ko Government James ni. Nonsense and ingredients.

The stupid manager should have told me that earlier. I have already promised my Homies in Naija that I will be sending some money to them. I have also been thinking of buying a new plasma TV. Now I would have to make do with the old school TV I have been watching.

Una see the kain wahala dis credit crunch or global recession don cause now abi wetin dem dey call am for Naija?

Yipee! I just wrote a whole post without mentioning Bumight’s name. I’m keeping my New Year resolution.

Ps: Solomonsydelle, I have updated O.

55 comments:

bumight said...

he's back!!!!! and i'm FIRSTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!

bumight said...

I still see my name!!! lol

so are u saying i shouldnt bother relocating to jand cos there's no free money afterall? dang!

Rita said...

You mentioned Bumight's name :-)

This credit crunch thing is not funny at all

Afrobabe said...

You definately mentioned her name..

Long time Mr...how have u been?

yes oh...we saw the news along side the one about British jobs for British workers..

we dey look them dey go....

Femi B said...

Long time no see,
well thats what life is all about ..the rich are flawless

Maybe i should go print my own money cos im broke man

Temite said...

LMAO. You are tew funny. What is the story about u and Bumight? I have to go and do research.

StandTall-The Activist said...

Hope you are back for good

theicequeen said...

Government bond ko Government James ni.BUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH....Government James....laffin my ass off oooo!!!!

and you mentioned Bumights name :P

zee crunch sucks, yea...my nailpolish is twice the price it was four months ago...rubbish!

Buttercup said...

awwwww..i really do hope u r doing just fine....i love that song btw!

lmaooooooooo @ u mentioning bumight's name STILL!

ha, nawa o..£75billion?????? im sooooo putting ur bamk manager in prayers, that 1grand has to be given to u o..all i demand for my effort is 60%..pere!

wordmerchant said...

the cruch has bitten england..they are printing money and giving us the taxpaying workers ever rising costs..even onions are xpensive!

Geebee said...

The credit crunch (or is it crunchy) thing is driving the global financial system crazy . . . but come oh, did you say 75 billion pounds (I must have missed that one in the news). Imagine me getting one percent of that. I’ll declare a holiday for all Naija bloggers. Lol. Oga, I’m assuming you’ll disappear again after this one . . . Prove me wrong.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

This is the update? Fine. I accept. But you should provide a new one, shebi?

Tundun Adeyemo said...

Ur blog is really good. Its unfortunate u dont write as often as u do!

isha said...

Errrm, so like where are you?

AlooFar said...

anybody home?

炫風 said...

If you can not be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. ....................................................

幸運之神 said...

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KarieS美航嘉雯 said...

The more haste, the less speed.......................................................

isha said...

You've been gone so long that your comments have been hacked. Lol.

Happy New Year. Holla.

Oh, you've got mail - http://ishashotgist.blogspot.com/2010/04/excuse-me-stud-indulge-me.html

GeraldF_Rotter雅慧 said...

很用心的blog,推推哦 ........................................

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非常感謝~3Q~....................................................

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健豪 said...

逛到你的部落格,第一個感覺就很好,希望每次更新都是美好的開始,也祝你天天都都開心喔........................................

紫倫妍勳 said...

成功的第一要素是珍惜自己 ............................................................

ShilaLong嘉雯 said...

Necessity is the mother of invention.............................................................

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Tisha said...

bumight came to see you
i see.
Thot you weren't going to mention her.

sorry you did not get any of the printed money. lol

Tisha said...

bumight came to see you
i see.
Thot you weren't going to mention her.

sorry you did not get any of the printed money. lol

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曉薇 said...

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1615 said...

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Necessity is the mother of invention..................................................................