Quantitative Easing

Well, I haven’t gone for too long or have I?

Remember that I made a New Year resolution to post regularly on my blog or didn’t I? The resolution is not that difficult to keep. (Gulp!)

Anyway, I’m sure you’ll be wondering what the title of my post is all about. By the way, I’m listening to Boyz II Men in the background, 'I’m doing just fine'. Yeah, I’m doing just fine getting along very well without you in my life. She knows who she is.

Moving on, you know what they say:

Rich people don’t steal; they embezzle

Rich people don’t sleep around; they have affairs

Rich people don’t fart; they break wind.

And the list continues like that.

The way it applies to rich people is exactly the way it is with rich countries.

When Uganda did it during the Idi-Amin era and Zimbabwe very recently it was called, ‘printing money’ but now that the United Kingdom has joined the ranks of Uganda and Zimbabwe in printing money it is re-christened ‘quantitative easing’.

Yes O! The Bank of England has just announced plans to print about £75billion. Yup! Your eyes are not deceiving you. Her Majesty’s government will be printing seventy-five billion Pounds very soon, not Biafran Pounds by the way but Pounds Sterling (Mama Charlie). I won’t even try converting that to Zimbabwean Dollars, I’ll still be adding the zeroes this time next year.

That is how bad the credit crunch has hit the UK. The Government is so broke they have resorted to printing money themselves.

I was very happy when I first heard O! I divided £75billion by the number of people in the UK and reckoned that at least each person should be given a thousand Pounds. I was even thinking of collecting my brother’s share, he’s relocated to Nigeria. I was very disappointed when I went to see my bank manager who told me that the money would not be shared amongst the residents. He was telling me some shit like buying up Government bonds. Government bond ko Government James ni. Nonsense and ingredients.

The stupid manager should have told me that earlier. I have already promised my Homies in Naija that I will be sending some money to them. I have also been thinking of buying a new plasma TV. Now I would have to make do with the old school TV I have been watching.

Una see the kain wahala dis credit crunch or global recession don cause now abi wetin dem dey call am for Naija?

Yipee! I just wrote a whole post without mentioning Bumight’s name. I’m keeping my New Year resolution.

Ps: Solomonsydelle, I have updated O.

KILONSELE

Before I write further I just want to explain to Shona Vixen and Jarrai that ‘kilonsele’ means ‘Wassup?’ in Yoruba.

Okay, moving on. I could use an entire post to apologise to you guys for not having updated and go on and on about how time flies and all that shit and then disappear again for the next three months. How about that?

I’m still very much alive and kicking and…, never mind.

A lot has happened since I last updated. Afrobabe has become born-again!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!

I wanted to do a post on New Year resolutions and something else happened. I however made some resolutions sha:

I will stop mentioning Bumight’s name on all of my posts

I will call Vera or send her an e-mail. (Well that’s if she’s still single.)

I will stop stalking Mz Dee.

I will stop wondering what some bloggers look like.

I will stop fantasising about one particular blogger. No, I won’t mention his/her name.

I will blog more often this year. (I’ve already broken that resolution)

I will unmask myself this year. (Fat chance)

I will stop telling fabus in my posts

Chei! That was Easy. I should have updated a long time ago.

Anywez, for those of you in Nigeria, Obama has finally been sworn in on January 20th. I know we are in February but I understand that some people in Nigeria have not had electricity since the beginning of this year so they probably haven’t heard.

How many of you remember that part of Obama’s inauguration speech where he talked about leaders clenching their fists? I heard from very authoritative sources that it was at the last minute that he decided to remove Yar’adua’s name from that part of the speech. He reckoned he really didn’t deserve that much attention.

It snowed heavily in London the other day and I took part in a snow-man building competition for my adugbo. I won’t tell you who won. I won’t publish the pictures I took either. I don’t want people to know where I live in Jand.

I promise I won’t be absent for so long again. If I don’t update very soon make a baff naked.