Niaja Bloggers - Final Series

I hope you guys will not be disappointed by my decision to bring my description of Nigerian bloggers to an end. Believe me it was nothing but a wicked diversion. Walahi, I just got carried away when I started seeing beautiful images in my dreams and a voice told me that the images belonged to bloggers. I wanna go back to my original mission of blogging about Nigeria as a whole, Nigerian people and Nigerian culture.

Before I bring the series to a close sha, I need to describe someone bold and err…. Beautiful?

Vera, I like your boldness. You were one of the first persons I wanted to describe but anytime I shut my eyes, like you did in your photo, to visualise you I see the picture of an angel. Is that you? There’s something about you sha that reminds me of Iman, the Somalian model, but not as tall.

Until you confirm whether that angel is you or not I have composed a poem for you:

Dear bloggers,

My name is Vera, not just an afrobabe, but a proper Naijababe
these are no ordinary naijalines, cos everyonelovesanaijababe.

I’m not a nigeriandramaqueen, but thequeenofmycastle, theicequeen.
give me an aphrodite and I could be a real femmefatale
especially when I’m out on a spin like Solomonsydelle!

anytime my charizard’s on fire I’ll ask for a Shirak!

that is my naijaleta to you all.

Na you sabi! I say I dey write poem for Vera baby, you dey tell me say e no rhyme. Rhyme ko, nursery ni.

Mommy! You subtracted a whole percentage point from me because I said you were a size sixteen. You said you fluctuate between a fourteen and a sixteen. Yeah right!
I will expose your asiri to everybody on blogville. You see, when mommy goes to buy clothes, she goes to the fourteen section first and struggles to get into a fourteen but every fiber in her body is shouting sixteen, sixteen. Even the sales assistants have to remind her that she’s a sixteen. You deducted another point because I said you had short hair. What’s your idea of long hair? You see, my ex, not the immediate one, but my ex, ex, ex…anyway, never mind. Her hair was so long she used to trip on it when walking unless she tied it up. If I lie make I baff naked. So mommy, if your hair is not that long then to me it is short.

Bumight, speak now or forever remain quiet! On second thoughts, please don’t speak you just might go and mention the right person.

Now everybody is threatening me with those Brixton boys, even theicequeen all the way from Poracot! Me I no fear anybody joo!

A beg make una follow me beg Charizard make e no commot for blogville O.

Reminds me of Afrobabe’s comment on Charizard’s age. The ogbologbo of blogville, the one and only afrobabe, suspects Charizard couldn’t be older than 21. How she take sabi? Ogbologbo knows about men inside out. Just the way I know about women.