Naija Bloggers Part 3

For some funny reasons there were no comments for the first couple of days after my last blog on Nigerian bloggers so I thought my fellow bloggers had voted with their keypads. No comments means, ‘we don’t like your post’. ‘Who do you think you are?’ ‘Dis Naijaleta sef. He just joined us and he is trying to break the sanctimonious façade of the religious piety code of the ancient Order of the Nigerian bloggers’ society’. I thought you guys considered my last post a sacrilegious and contemptuous indiscretion, which should be visited with the dreaded declaration of Omerta, complete, deafening, ear-shattering silence. I thought I had been declared persona-non grata in blogsville.

By the way, where was I? Ah, yes!

Again, much respect to everyone who dropped a comment and to those who did not.

When I wrote the first draft for this post I had not heard from bumight and undacovasista. Mehn, afraid catch me no be small. Dat kain undacovasista fit arrange make some Brixton boys organize me O. Not to worry anyway, I’ve heard from them. Bumight said I was 75% accurate with her description and undacovasista would neither deny nor confirm that she’s mixed. Hmmm… she reminds me of Babangida who refused to deny or confirm whether he was still interested in running for Presidency, then…

Theicequeen wants me to describe her. My dear, be careful what you wish for. You see, there’s a way a person writes that tells me what she looks like go ask anigeriandramaqueen who said my description of her was 98% correct. You see, if I connect with your writing on a particular level I can describe you down to your bra size! I know you're fine sha, very fine.

Mommy, mommy. I’m seeing a chocolate coloured, round faced person with short hair and a lovely smile. One of those people who are difficult to annoy but if you cross her peren,...she’s like Naomi Campbell. You see, something tells me mommy is actually a size 16 now but she wants to go back to the size 12 she was before she gave birth to tontolo. I’m feeling that she has this green striped T-shirt and grey jogging bottoms she wears around the house and which she always wears when she’s writing her blog. Walahi, I don’t know where that came from but mommy will confirm whether that is true or not.

You see, I keep confusing oluwadee’s image with that of Agbani Darego, which she has on her blog. I’m feeling that she’s a light skinned version of the ex-beauty queen. No, she’s not dark, FemmeFatale is the dark one.

Out of respect for the headmistress of blogville, solomonsydelle, I won’t tell you what she looks like. (Note that I said, ‘looks like’ and not ‘what I think she looks like’). Naijababe, I sure hope those lips are yours, SD (solomonsydelle) does not belong to any confraternity, she’s a sweet wife of one husband and mother of three children.

Charizard is definitely tall and lanky, a bit like Naija version of Peter Crouch but not as tall. If I lie, make I baff naked. Chariz, Chariz, there’s something about him that tells me he’s either in his late teens or very early twenties. Charizard mi, take that as the biggest compliment I have ever paid anyone on this blog. If anybody could grant me a wish, I would wish to be at least ten years younger.


There’s something about sasuke that tells me he is a very fine, light skinned bloke. He’s not very tall, about 5ft 10” tall, ok, maybe 6ft on the dot.

I’m only describing the fine ones? Would you want me to describe you if you were not fine?

I’m falling uncontrollably passionately in love with a female blogger, I won’t tell you who it is. Maybe oluwadee could use that to practise her matchmaking skills.

I was so happy to read bumight’s comment. No, she’s not the one I’m in love with. No, not because she’s not fine she’s…. oh, common, whatever!

See ya!