Nigeria's Man Made Problems

Fellow Nigerians, isn’t it great to be back after the weekend? Walahi, som pipul go swear fo mi as I tok dat kain tok. Na who wan go back wok after weekend? Apart from Policemen and Court staff who cannot wait to go back to work and start collecting engunje again. You know what, I’ve never come across a Policeman who said he was on leave. Olopa no dey go leave, na hunger go kill im family.

A friend of mine returned to London after visiting Nigeria for a relative’s wedding with tales of woe of how Policemen were still extorting money from innocent civilians, unavailability of electricity, traffic jams and bad roads. At the end of his narration he asked me if I still believed in Nigeria. My answer was a resounding ‘YES’, that I still believed so much in Nigeria. I now went on to explain to my friend that every problem he experienced in Nigeria was man-made, not artificial but man-made. For instance, the day we get a sane Inspector-General of Police the menace of Policemen extorting money from innocent civilians will stop.
“What about traffic-jams?” My friend asked.
“The day Nigerians start to obey traffic rules traffic-jams will reduce.” I replied.
It’s not as if they don’t have traffic-jams in developed countries too but the difference is that when there is a traffic-jam motorists stay on their side of the road they don’t drive over the road divider and face oncoming traffic!

As for the issue of bad roads this is due to lack of maintenance. If the Government maintained the roads there would be fewer bad roads.

Isn’t it amazing the number of top of the range cars you see on our roads as bad as they are? Talking about top of the range cars, did you hear about the Nigerian who went to a bank in the middle of New York to ask for a $25,000:00 loan? Anyway, there was this Nigerian who went to a top bank in Manhattan, New-York to negotiate for a $25,000:00 loan for a month. He was very smartly dressed on that day so the bank manager was quite impressed and reckoned he must have a good job and therefore credit worthy. However, there was the little problem of security for the loan. When the Nigerian was asked for security he said, “no problem, you can use my Bentley as security for the Loan. I just bought it last month and it cost me a Hundred thousand Dollars. It’s parked outside.” The bank manager asked for the registration papers for the Bentley, which he checked and to his amazement the car actually belonged to the Nigerian and he’s paid for it in full.
Without wasting any more time the bank manager processed the loan and transferred the money to this man’s account. The interest payable for the loan for a month was two hundred Dollars. After the money was transferred the Bentley was parked inside a well secured garage.
Exactly a month later the Nigerian returned with $25,200:00 cash, which he handed over to the manager. After the manager verified that the money was complete he ordered the Bentley to be brought from the garage and handed the Keys over to the Nigerian.
As the Nigerian was driving out, the manager asked him what business he was into that made him turn the money around so quickly.
“Tell me,” The Nigerian started. “How else can I get a secured parking space for my $100,000:00 brand new Bentley for a whole month for only $200:00 in the middle of Manhattan?” The Nigerian asked the bemused bank manager as he drove away.